The decidedly dysfunctional married couple of Der Bunker has big plans for their seemingly half-retarded, oversized 8-year-old son ‘Klaus’ (Daniel Fripan), who they are ruthlessly preparing to one day become the president of the United States despite the fact that he is a quasi-autistic kraut gnome with a fiercely flat affect who cannot even memorize the capitals of neighboring European nations. Indeed, despite the fact that homeschooling is strictly illegal in post-Hitler Deutschland, little Kraus is being groomed by his pseudo-intellectual father—an eccentric dilettante that dresses like a hobo who wants to give off the impression that he is actually a misunderstood genius—to be the leader of the world's foremost military and economic power. As an uniquely ugly little boy with a marvelously mediocre personality, horrible temperament, and low IQ that physically resembles the mutant hate child of Andy Warhol and Angela Merkel, Klaus has very little going for him but his mother suffers the grand delusion that he is exceptionally ‘gifted.’ As the film reveals as it progress, the nameless mother is under the ‘spiritual guidance’ of a nasty wound on her leg that is supposedly from another galaxy named ‘Heinrich’ who tells her how to run her family. When a nameless student (Pit Bukowski) makes the major life-changing mistake of renting a room in the eponymous home of the distinctly dysfunctional family in the hope of getting some much needed peace and quiet while he works on developing a groundbreaking cross-field scientific theory that involves Higgs boson, he soon finds himself being coerced into being both Klaus’ professor and the family's all-purpose domestic bitch, yet somehow by the end of the film things fall into place for all those involved in what is ultimately one feverishly fucked family farce.
Completely fed up with Klaus’ complete and utter hopelessness as a pupil, the Student (or, as Klaus calls him, ‘Mr. Student’) also begins using corporal punishment and even actually manages to get the grotesque 8-year-old to memorize the capitals of various countries by brutally hitting him in the hand with the wooden cane every single time he gets an answer wrong. While Klaus' hands and fingers are left completely bloody and brutalized as a result of the tough lesson, the little lad is so happy that he actually learned something that he is completely joyous as a result of the experience and proudly boasts to his parents about his new skill. As a reward for achieving the seemingly impossible by teaching her son to memorize the capitals of a number of fairly obscure countries, the Mother pays a special visit in a foxy fur coat to the Student late that night and then proceeds to fuck his brains out in what seems to be a rather long and eclectic sensual session that proves to be both sexually and intellectually exhilarating. Indeed, aside from allowing him to drink milk from her tits just like Klaus, the Mother’s sexual powers prove to be so inspirational to the Student that he manages to get tons of science work down while he is in the middle of fucking her. Notably, before having sex with the Mother, the Student had made nil progress on his work, but after being given a special sort of carnal knowledge from the seemingly insane woman the protagonist gets fairly close to completing all of his work. Unfortunately for the Student, fate has different plans for him that has more to do with women's work like vacuuming carpet than elementary particles.
Also, one almost gets the sense while watching Der Bunker that the director is brainwashed by the typical German leftist narrative and believes that homeschooling is an evil, as if public schools do a better job rearing kids (obviously I have never attended a German public school, but any American can tell you that public schools are all about indoctrination and mindless memorization, hence why girls tend to do better in school and so many Americans graduate from high school despite being illiterate or sub-literate). After all, homeschooling is illegal in Germany because the government is afraid of supposed “parallel societies” that abstain from the quasi-commie public school objective of so-called “lived tolerance.” Of course, the great irony is that anti-homeschooling law is Nazi-esque legislation that was created specifically for the prevention of parents raising their kids to be National Socialists, just as so-called hate speech laws in Germany are an overtly fascistic means of attempting to prevent fascist sentiment. To Chryssos' credit, he does hint at the joke that is modern education in his depiction of Klaus being forced to do mindless memorizing, which any monkey can do and proves nothing about an individual's true intellectual prowess. Of course, if modern public schools actually taught students how to think for themselves instead of what to think, they might begin to question classic oxymoronic liberal slogans like “diversity is our strength.”
Naturally, I was not surprised to discover a photo from the set of the Der Bunker shoot featuring an Antifaschistische Aktion (aka Antifa) flag in the background, thus indicating that Chryssos is probably a proponent of fascistic antifascism. Of course, only Chryssos knows what is going inside his head, but it amazes me that a man that could make such an uncompromisingly wayward flick could be such a stereotypical conformist bitch when it comes to politics, but then again, as the career of Hans-Jürgen Syberberg sadly demonstrates, you cannot be taken too seriously or respected as a filmmaker in Germany unless you subscribe to something that is at least as left-wing as the mainstream (neo)liberal narrative. After all, even a miscegenating homo anarchist like Fassbinder was accused of being racist, misogynistic, and antisemitic during the 1970s. That being said, Chryssos deserves credit for managing to make a German film that features an all-German cast and not a single Turk or negro, even if the Teutons are portrayed in a less than flattering fashion that recalls the grotesque anti-German caricatures of super smug kraut commie George Grosz.
Easily the greatest film ever released by Artsploitation Films aside from possibly Kleinert’s Der Samurai, Der Bunker hopefully represents a sign of a new renaissance in Teutonic cinema, though my cynicism leads me to think otherwise. More recently director Nikias Chryssos directed a short 10-minute doc entitled The Double Feeling about a Las Vegas fleshlight factory, thus underscoring his somewhat refreshing lack of seriousness as a filmmaker (of course, considering his politics, it is probably for the better). If Chryssos continues making warped aesthetically autistic dark comedies, he might have the potential to evolve into an evil Greco-Aryan Mel Brooks. After all, the last thing that the Fatherland needs is another ethno-masochist twat that directs serious ‘experimental films’ about culturally schizophrenic Turkish feminists and children with Down syndrome. Indeed, I might be the only one that holds this opinion, but arguably the greatest and most singular accomplishment of Der Bunker is that it proves that someone that is totally brainwashed by the leftist narrative, the false faith of Holocaustianity, and the multicultural myth can still make a seemingly immaculately constructed and somewhat politically incorrect film that is not totally tainted by bogus blue-pill bullshit. Surely, one cannot go wrong with a film that seems like it was directed by the strangely Americanized heterosexual brood of Werner Schroeter and Ulrike Ottinger, as Der Bunker is like an aesthetically decadent arthouse film for exploitation fans that hate arthouse films, which is certainly no small accomplish, especially in a nation where the hyper humorless and humdrum films of the Berlin School are considered the height of cinematic cultivation. While Germany will probably never produce another Nietzsche or even a Fassbinder, it certainly has room for a Mel Brooks or a John Waters, though hopefully Chryssos will evolve into something more enigmatic yet red-pilled.