“The Revolution died…It always died,” or so says Marxist terrorist turned (foul)flesh-peddling tranny Red Maria – a merry maniac of a mensch who long ago lost faith in everything, especially ‘revolutionary change,’ aside from sucking cock and boning twinks. One fine cloudy day, Red Maria finds an unconscious young man who is wearing nothing but baggy shorts, which allow his pecker to hangout freely. Being a good Samaritan, Red Maria revives the gentleman by molesting him via humble handjob, which ultimately awakes the jaded gentleboy from his slumber, thus ushering in the ill-begotten romantic relationship in what is very possibly the most completely and utterly repulsive gay odd couple to ungracefully grace the silverscreen. As Red Maria learns and will never forget, his new butt ugly boy toy was beaten to a bloody pulp by a street gang of nefarious neo-fascists who do not take kindly to wiggers whose wieners pop out of their shorts randomly. A virtual modern primitive of a post-industrial wasteland, Maria’s homo homeboy grunts like a hip hop toddler with Down syndrome, thus it is up to the sardonic shemale to ‘make a man’ out of his perturbed protégé. The first thing Maria asks if he can sucks the lad’s cock, which inspires the young man to finger his buttocks and masturbate. Not one to do things halfway, or to literally or figuratively masturbate with his life, Red Maria teaches his sodomite student how to get buggered in the brown eye, the gospel of apocalyptic post-Marxist revolutionary politics 101, and how to slowly and brutally butcher and murder neo-fascists in the comfort of one's own bathroom. Ironically, Red Maria is a rare Greek man whose ancestors may have not been raped by Turks as s/he has blond hair and blue eyes yet the neo-fascist street warriors are superlatively swarthy as if they just landed on Greece on a raft from Iran. With no chance of a real Marxist revolution happening and with leftwingers now having ‘rightwing souls,’ Red Maria redefines ‘permanent revolution’ via hedonistic homicide and haphazard homo sex. Red Maria also manages to transform his poof protégé from being a mere savage sod who compulsively strokes his meat on the commode into a political radical in red pleather who rather enjoys being reamed in the rectum by an old Bolshevik of buggery. If there ever was a celluloid romance that was radically rancid and repellant to both the eyes and ears, as well as the soul, The Rebellion of Red Maria makes for an inordinately odious and rotten romance gone retarded with a hysterical heart and soul that only a half Negro/half Hebrew hermaphrodite from Athens could appreciate.
Indubitably, if I learned anything by watching The Rebellion of Red Maria, it is that not all love is beautiful and that leftwing politics are quite effective in emasculating men. Undoubtedly, if German New Cinema dandy auteur Werner Schroeter was a punk rock pornographer who trashed the voice of Maria Callas for mundane metal and intricate tableaux for minimalistic ‘realism’ of the radically raunchy sort, it might resemble The Rebellion of Red Maria – a trying tragicomedy that is about as aesthetically appealing as a brown baby in a blender. With the incessant repeating of the same offscreen poetry lines, quite like Argila (1969) and Eika Katappa (1969), as will as its anti-authoritarian sociopolitical subtext, The Rebellion of Red Maria is indubitably a work inspired by the films of Werner Schroeter, so it is quite interesting to note that Mediterranean auteur Costas Zapas ripped off a kraut auteur who ripped off Mediterranean filmmakers, sort of like George Lucas borrowed the cinematic conventions for his Star War films from a Jap named Akira Kurosawa who borrowed his samurai film from John “Western” Ford. Of course, where Schroeter only saw death and dystopia in his sad cinematic swansong This Night (2008) aka Nuit de chien, zany Zapas only sees lurid love and carnal celebration in The Rebellion of Red Maria – a fiercely farcical depiction of a forsaken future without a historical future where man, be he a tormented tranny or sadistic skinhead, sees his fellow man as meat to be fucked and killed and where biological women have no place. Undoubtedly, in director Costas Zapas' mind, the world is a prison planet ruled by a pernicious plutocracy, thus The Rebellion of Red Maria makes for a wanton whimper in the face of globalization, technocratic terror, international bankers, and homogenization by way of Americanization and Hollywoodization, albeit a vaguely witty one. While I can respect some of Zapas' aesthetic antagonism and blatant anti-Hollywoodism, I found The Rebellion of Red Maria about as philosophically and aesthetically inspiring as the latest Robert Rodriguez film, but at least the Greek auteur realizes the revolution, as well as the cheap Che Guevara 'romance' that oftentimes inspires would-be-revolutionaries to waste their lives for the good of the cause, is about as realistic as a black ruled planet, which is certainly something one cannot say of any other leftist filmmaker.