Mar 24, 2013

The Holy Land


Despite the fact that Hollywood is almost exclusively owned and run by Hebrews, especially of the “Israel First” Zionist persuasion, one rarely sees any films depicting the true face of the Jewish Holy Land and the trouble the nation faces in a 24/7 war zone where one hates thy neighbor, so I was rather intrigued when I discovered an independent Israeli film about a young and virginal orthodox rabbinical student who breaks off his pathological study of the Torah and Talmud and parties with Russian prostitutes, Jewish-American bar owners, and terrorists of the Judaic and Palestinian sort. Directed by controversial (especially to kosher folks) Jewish American auteur Eitan Gorlin, an American Orthodox Jew who was educated at a Zionist Yeshiva school in Israel, The Holy Land (2001) is the sort of rare film – be it from Hollywood or otherwise – that takes some low blows at the circumcised cock of little Israel in its candid portrayal of wack-job Jewish American terrorists who blow up buses full of Palestinian women and children, Jew-on-Jew hatred between religious and atheistic Israelites, rampant Islam hating, the fascistic terrorism of the Israel Defense Forces (IDF), the proliferation of Yankee Yid ‘settlers’ of the AK-47 stroking sort, Arab traitors who have sold their souls to genocidal enemies, and the literal sex slavery of Eastern European Slavic women by slave-trading Semites of the psychopathic pornographer persuasion. Despite it rather incriminating and incendiary depiction of Israel, The Holy Land is in the fairly palatable form of a semi-formulaic coming-of-age tale that features a synthesized mix of melodrama, comedy, sub-eroticism, a tinge of thriller, and sociopolitical commentary and that is not much harder to follow than a piece of Michael Bay's gratuitous explosion excrement, thus making it an ideal film to watch for those many American individuals who have yet to realize that the Hebrew nation is not a towelhead land, but the true source of America's woes in the Middle East. Inspired by director Gorlin’s experiences while living in Israel during the early to mid-’90s during the first intifada as someone who served in the Israeli army, The Holy Land is a postmodern parable of sorts that takes its central plotline from an abstruse segment from the “Bava Batra” (aka “The Last Gate”) of the Talmud that is often ignored or intentionally misinterpreted by Rabbis because it more or less recommends that Jews test their faith by “going under cover” in civilian goy clothes and fornicating with a prostitute (even better if she is a gentile), thereupon getting sin out of their system so they can attend to practicing archaic rituals like wailing spastically in front of a wall. Of course, as the protagonist of The Holy Land learns through terribly tempting trial and error, Slavic shiksa girls are typically hotter and have more fun than frigid Israeli girls, evil kraut Hermann Hesse novels make for much more entertaining reading than the Talmud, and taking bong hits of marijuana gets you just as high, even if it is not kosher. 

 Opening with authentic stock footage of unholy hell in the Holy Land with footage of Third World style guerrilla warfare between Palestinians with off-screen narration from a Russian girl speaking in broken English regarding a warning her mother gave her about going to Israel as a virtual slave and how after her less than delightful experience in the desert dystopia that she concluded, “I hope the Jews and Arabs kill each other until nobody left,” The Holy War immediately establishes a feeling of nihilistic hatred, but then cuts to a highly contrasting scene of the protagonist sucking from his mother’s teat as a wee babe. Flash forward twenty years later to 2000 and we see the Hebraic hero Mendy (Oren Rehany) is now interested in women’s bosoms for entirely different reasons as he masturbates to porn magazines in his Orthodox parents’ bathroom and ejaculates quite crudely in the bathtub as the sort of eccentric and erotically disadvantaged character you would expect to see in a Todd Solondz (who, incidentally, had plans to be a Rabbi as a child but ended up being the even sicker spiritual son of Woody Allen) film. On top of spilling his Semitic seed in the place where his entire family bathes themselves, Mendy proves to be quite the heretical Hebrew because he prefers reading kraut writer Hermann Hesse’s wholly unkosher novel Siddhartha (1922) and is reprimanded by his rabbi because he believes, “the Torah is the truth. This book isn’t the truth.” A rather strange Rebbe who fondles the shoulders and hands of his Talmud-scholars-in-training (in the audio commentary for the DVD, director Gorlin hints that he is a homosexual pederast), the teacher recommends, citing an obscure passage from the Talmud, that Mendy should leave Jerusalem and go to a Tel Aviv goy town incognito and make love to a gentile flesh-peddler so he can get his lustful desire out of his system as he believes that the boy's religious doubts will be settled and that he will be able to focus on the Torah and holiness. 

 Of course, things don't go quite as planned when Mendy falls in love at first sight with a goyish Russian prostitute named Sasha (played by Israeli actress Tchelet Semel with a somewhat unbelievable Russian accent) who gives him a handjob that lasts no more than a single second. Mendy also befriends a strangely buff and bodacious alpha male Jew from America named Mike (Saul Stein) who is a longtime friend and fuckbuddy of Sasha and used to have an adventurous job as a war photographer, but now owns a somewhat seedy bar that is patronized by strange characters, including self-loathing Arabs, anti-Arab Jewish professors, and killer kosher Kahaneite terrorists/settlers who are in a holy war with impoverished Palestinians who dare to occupy land that they hope to make part of greater Israel. Mendy essentially abandons Orthodox Judaism as a prodigal son of sorts and takes a job at Mike’s bar. When not attempting to vie for the innately unlovable and sexually demoralized Sasha’s affection, Mendy hangs out with an Arab Judas and charismatic conman named Razi (Albert Illooz), as well as an unsavory psychopath that calls himself “The Exterminator” (Arie Moskuna) who carries around an AK47 at all times and takes pride in killing Palestinians. In trouble of losing his bar, Mike gets involved with a smuggling scheme and terrorism, thereupon including Mendy and Sasha by proxy. Not just a simple streetwalker, Sasha is a sex slave that is owned by a grotesque Israeli who forces her to star in fetishistic porn flicks and is quite desperate to get out of her direful situation, thus she offers to marry Mendy because he has an American passport and she wants her freedom in the ostensible land of the free. Looking for more of a romantic relationship as opposed to mere bought buggery, perennial virgin Mendy tries to turn Sasha straight, but seeing as his lecherous lady love can only get wet for bad boys (as she states herself) and with all of his friends involved in a pernicious terrorist plot, things might be too late for the lapsed Orthodox Jewish boy to make a real mensch out of himself. 

 During the last 30 minutes of The Holy Land, terroristic settler "Exterminator" yells to Mendy’s Rabbi – who gives the boy an ultimatum that if he does not come back to Orthodox Judaism, he will tell his parents about his sinful way – that he, “can’t stand that sniveling, stuck-in-the ghetto diaspora Judaism either,” in a scene that sums up one of the major themes of the film: religious Orthodox Judaism versus quasi-fascistic and atheistic secular Zionism. Considering America has the largest Jewish population in the world (despite making up only about 2.2% of the U.S. population as of 2008), the fair majority of which being secular Zionists, it should be no surprise that The Holy Land was rejected by no less than three Jewish film festivals, of which director Eitan Gorlin stated in an interview for regarding American Jewry’s campaign to hide the unflattering truths regarding exploitation and militarism in Israel, “There’s a real desire among a lot of people to control images and messages and the story of Israel. People are used to propaganda: “You’re either with us or against us.” I like to think the film has ambiguity. Some Jewish film festivals are more a celebration of our culture. They just don’t want to go there.” With Jews that are more dedicated to eating bacon cheeseburgers and marrying goy gals as people who blasphemously founded a nation before their messiah came out of cultural and political reasons as opposed to religious ones, The Holy Land is quite oddly a religious work about a people who have abandoned their God. With ex-Israelis like Jazz musician Gilad Atzmon writing such scathing things about his people as, “We must begin to take the accusation that the Jewish people are trying to control the world very seriously” and “American Jewry makes any debate on whether the 'Protocols of the Elders of Zion' are an authentic document or rather a forged irrelevant. American Jews do control the world, by proxy. So far they are doing pretty well for themselves at least,” and films like Gorlin’s The Holy Land, one can only wonder if it will be the Jews themselves who will commence the pogroms against their own people once again. For a group who relatively recently founded their first nation in thousands of years as a direct result of Auschwitz and who oftentimes proclaim to be the world’s foremost victims, it is rather strange that a Jew would call himself “Exterminator” (Gorlin based this character off of a real person) and make a sport of gunning down feral Palestinian children for pelting rocks.  Personally, as an unrighteous gentile, I could not always tell the difference between an Israeli and Palestinian, at least in the context of The Holy Land, aside from the fact that one group uses the United States as a vassal of unconscious Shabbos Goys, while the other lives in a city-sized concentration camp provided by their Semitic brethren.  That being said, I doubt anyone, aside from Americans Jews, would care if the Israelis and Palestinians wiped out each other out overnight as fantasized about by the resentful Russian girl at the beginning of The Holy Land.  After all, when a simple Yeshiva student cannot even complain in peace without being scammed by Slavic sex slaves, driven to substance abuse by Jewish jock philistines, and coerced into terrorism by a physically foul fellow that looks like he could be Rick Moranis' pedophile uncle, there is truly trouble in the Holy Land.

 -Ty E

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