Dec 8, 2010

Kick-Ass


I have never understood the fascination with comic books and superheroes, especially with people over the age of 10. One must be very desperate for complete and utter escapism if they fantasize about being some flying ubermensch that sports homoerotic tights. After all, if one is truly looking for escapism, why not fantasize about a dream that could actually come true, like being the next Vincent Gallo or Klaus Barbie. In the recent film Kick-Ass, a four-eyed virgin weasel named Dave decides to make his superhero dream come true by wearing an aesthetically repulsive costume (to match his equally repulsive body) and fighting a bunch of criminals that end up deservedly kicking his self-righteous fanboy fanny. Despite being a limp-wristed pussy, a bystander records Dave aka “Kick-Ass” in a moment of dubious heroism that helps make him an internet phenomenon and local superhero. 

Potential Sodomy Victims

Hollywood is very big on promoting philistine escapism and Kick-Ass certainly delivers in that regard. Like most Hollywood films, Kick-Ass manages to combine the petty problems that Americans have (in this case, a virgin who always gets his ass kicked) with wacky and absurd solutions to these problems. For example, whilst being beaten by a large Negro, a little white girl (Hit-Girl) magically saves dilettante superturd Kick-Ass from certain death. Also, like many Hollywood films (a legacy that ultimately began with Shirley Temple), Kick-Ass sexualizes the prepubescent Hit-Girl. Not only can Hit-Girl single-handedly beat up a room of barbaric Negro criminals but she can also seduce grown men with her mini-skirt. Hit-Girl’s Father Big-Daddy (I am sure this name is supposed to have a typically Hollywood Freudian connotation) has no doubt trained her well. 

This little girl has grown a deadly phallus

Kick-Ass is certainly another sick and clever attempt by the degenerate perverts at Hollywood to demoralize children at a very young age. Despite most young children being punished by their parents for even reciting the title of the film, Kick-Ass is no doubt a film geared towards the youngest of viewers. The Shrek films are full of somewhat subtle sexual innuendos but Kick-Ass goes all the way with a little girl yelling “Cunt” and literal Kleenex-filled masturbatory fantasies. Perversion aside, why would anyone want to see a little girl and a high school weakling as superheroes in the first place? I have fond memories of watching Tim Burton’s Batman in elementary school as I saw Batman as an admirable superhero that as a child I could look up to. Do contemporary grade school children really look up to little girls and high school nerds as real heroes with strong moral principles? I guess it would be considered ageism and sexism for young boys and girls to look up to a large muscular man as a superhero. 

On the Left: The Ugliest Villain in Film History

When it comes down to it, Kick-Ass is an expensive pile of cinematic garbage expertly concocted and executed by the culture-distorting globalists that manufacture films in Hollywood. The message of the film is that criminals are bad but even a little girl and a teenage loser (who pathetically pretends he is gay as a way to get close to a girl) can defeat them if they have a strong enough will to moral power. Personally, I found Kick-Ass ultimately lacking in fulfillment as the sickly-looking Israelite from Superbad, who plays the Villain Red Mist, did not die a miserable death via gassing or being burned alive (this death was reserved for everyone’s favorite Hollywood psycho: Nicholas Cage). Instead, one can expect another chapter in the phantasmagorical-schlock Kick-Ass franchise. 


-Ty E

4 comments:

peregrine fforbes-hamilton said...

I want to bugger Chloe Morentz (as she is right now) even if she was a fucking ugly slag in "Let Me In" (most of the time shes a gorgeous little darlin`). What a fucking ocean of ludicrous hypocrisy this movie is, it was made specifically for geezers who have endless fantasys about getting their knobs up Chloe Morentzs bum (i`m one of those geezers obviously) and yet the film makers laughingly say its about something else entirely, FUCKING LIES AND HYPOCRISY. By the way, DEATH TO ALL PANSY QUEER BASTARDS. One last item, i think this film was half or even three-quarters British made and i`ve warned you so girl-y times before about besmirching this brilliant site with British made shit, i emplore you not to do it again (unless of course its a film filled with hundreds of naked 8 year-old girls, then you will be forgiven).

Another Disposable Person said...

I think you're off as to the demographic that this movie is aimed at. Yes, the fantasy is juvenile, but the physical age of its target audience is not. The movie is not meant to be enjoyed by elementary school students the way a film, like say Spider-Man, is meant to. It's meant for 20-something manchildren who are so hopelessly pathetic that even the conventional superheros they once worshipped are too "adult" for them watch (as those icons provide at least some semblance of the qualities a grown man should possess). Thus the only kind of media they can now enjoy is masturbatory audience stand in protagonists with sexually provocative (but still clearly virgin) Lolita-esque love interests.

the sayer of the truth said...

Essentially what "Another Disposable Person" said was just a highbrow, elitist, intellectualised, college professor oriented version of what "Peregrine Fforbes-Hamilton" had already said in a much more low-brow gutter-language oriented way.

teddy crescendo said...

That bald-headed bastard looks like a faggot.