Jul 24, 2010

Neighbor


Such a sweet and welcoming face; beauty of that sexual caliber could be no more devious than any of the other bitches of the world, as Gualtiero Jacopetti should have titled La donna nel mondo (Women of the World). Continuing forward with the guise of a flawless clothed body, indie horror welcomes a new gore starlet with America Olivo. She teems with slutty class and a giggle that will melt your heart - and she's a serial killer. And so the ball has been dropped and no heads are turning. I wonder why that is? Oh, it's because this isn't new and worst off, it isn't good. Neighbor aka Robert A. Masciantonio's Neighbor is an awful film and a prime offender of gore-for-the-sake-of-gore. Switch sights to disappointment because this is solid proof that eye candy only goes as far as unstimulated entertainment; eye candy and moving pictures should never be mixed. Just look at the prime examples of D.O.A. - Dead or Alive, Bandidas, Tomb Raider, Onechanbara, Attack Girls' Swim Team vs. Undead, or many of the other countless titles with the mirrored modus operandi. Any film that occupies matter over mind has a general success rate of single digits and proves to be as intimidating and infuriating as the prices they charge for cinema feces.


The film on trial here opens with a beautiful woman listening to music and dancing around a very nice kitchen. She eats a bowl of cereal and presumes her joyous shuffle without an air of menace other than the knowledge of this films primary genre alignment. As she goes upstairs and opens a door, flash to two beyond mutilated bodies tied up in chairs. The woman screams and when the trauma passes, she laughs. Such a tedious opening for a film, and to think Masciantonio actually attempted to "psyche" us out with juvenile playground tactics. Had this been a mind game of a film or implemented in a later stage of story progression, I might had been fooled but we're not in Kindergarten and what I watched was too stupid for words. With the plot in concern, the film adopts a simple tale of a new girl in town who begins a spree of murder that disconnects a tight-knit community of friends. But between you and me, none of this really happens. Almost no mention of her moving into town recently was exchanged between cast, time just churns up into fine dust as the run time is squandered by America Olivo in skimpy clothes torturing dude-bros.


While this rendition of horror might seem appealing, it could only be so to the next Evil Dead memorabilia sporting metal-head who would appreciate something for the effects of violence and brutality towards unsuspecting victims. While I appreciate a nice scene of mayhem and murder as much as the average consumer of oddities, I enjoy it to be wrapped nicely in something called continuity and story archs, not a film centering itself around tits and blood, which we don't get none or much of either. Now to flip planes sharply, America Olivo is a great actress for what she's done. She was beautiful in Bitch Slap however no amount of good looks could have made that film palpable for me and she turns a nice psychotic turn in Neighbor which is presumably a natural talent. Neighbor just isn't equipped with really much of anything other than a circle of guys drinking in a bar planning a party. That's the key set up for the brutal shenanigans to take place, only it never does all in part to "The Girl" kidnapping our lead protagonist and torturing him and his girlfriend to soak up the rest of the time necessary for "feature length." Also, he later presumes he's dreaming during a slow purging from existence in an effort to channel An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge vibes of post-Jacob's Ladder discord.


I find it very discomforting that I can only praise the level of stark violence in Neighbor. I'd really like to be able to proclaim something in this abscessed project to have value or meaning but it's misplaced as a skin flick but doesn't aspire to be anything but cock-teasing on celluloid. You'd think they could fit a nice shower scene in the midst of Neighbor, I mean, with all the scenes of home invasion on display here that equate to little or nothing. Neighbor is a mess of a film; the kind that you are embarrassed to have watched. While some idiots can mistake the context of cruelty and splatter to be "camp", I cannot accept this travesty for something that it isn't - tolerable. While America Olivo is an attractive female who isn't afraid to bare all for us in Playboy, she's just a face - a body composed of tissue, muscle, bone, and fluid who will inevitably perish and rot. She and I will never amount to anything because time destroys all. Neighbor is a pitiful excuse for a horror movie; a two-tone wall of off-whites painted by someone with scarce knowledge of real horror. The revelation that life is precious...and I actually wasted 2 hours of my life on this fetid shit.


-mAQ

2 comments:

jervaise brooke hamster said...

I want to bugger America Olivo (as she was in 1996 when she was 18, not as she is now obviously).

Anonymous said...

a atriz matadora desse filme é bem gostosa! Marcos Punch.