May 30, 2010

Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl

As I run with themes in tow, I will review yet another Japanese film as my hard drive recently crashed resulting in a massive loss of data. How I came to acquire the films I've currently been watching is all thanks to a friend who let me borrow several Asian films for me to watch while I squander some data while I attempt to recollect films to review. In this assortment of films came the title Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl and if you've ever provided a blind-to-cinema friend with a list of possible watches and the aforementioned title is in the mix, surely they're going to pick this inane title as films are always best when they're "so bad they're good." This speaks for the standards of so many gorehounds nowadays as companies like Asylum produce films like Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus or even how filmmakers whose only credit are films like Tommy Wiseau's The Room or the clip-art endowed Birdemic. It's incredibly dreadful that these people are garnering fans like Jonah Hill and Kevin Smith while getting interviews as they nervously lie about their films not being "serious."

Some time ago I reviewed the cinematic schlock known to Western fans as Tokyo Gore Police. This appalling mix of try hard dystopian themes mixed with a prosthetics/CG mix of action of violence only granted me a massive migraine and very little confidence in the creators future. Well, they return with their tail tucked in between their legs to produce a film of better quality and that quality is offensiveness. Like most of their other projects and the related sort, (Robogeisha, Machine Girl, Meatball Machine, etc. etc.) I got sick from the amount of unrestrained assortment of absurd overkill these Japanese pump into their lifeless films. What they do to film is like giving a blood transfusion to someone who has been dead for months. The end result is normally a product so lifeless that even I don't grieve for another wasted opportunity. It's just expected. Imagine my surprise when I my stomach came to terms with the film after the opening scene of grue and arterial spray. I actually came to approve of this amateur production and I find myself at equal with the humor presented.

The summarize the plot of VGvs.FG would be callous of me as the plot is wafer thin. As this has been redundantly taken, this is not a bad thing for a versus film. Keep in mind the various clashing of titans Freddy vs. Jason or Alien vs. Predator. These weren't versus films and that was their doom. Some random Jap was forced into dating some random Gothic Lolita chick whose father is vice principal. After a mysterious exchange student registers under his class and gives him a chocolate from her own blood, she is revealed to be a vampire and now he is too thanks to her evil, conniving confectionery treat. When the Gothic Lolita dame finds out her father is a mad scientist and subsequently dies from falling off a building while confronting the stealing vampire whore, her father recreates her as a Frankenstein(?) girl. From there on, they duel with awkward results. Thus equals the equation of mediocre absurdity. Thank god this film has it's own brand of condiments to spice up the plate.

I consider myself a hateful person and I don't waste any time at ridiculing actions and decisions made by the average banal human. In VGvs.FG, many things are discussed visually with the appearance of scenes demonstrating the after school activities of several high school clubs - two to be exact. First there is the Cutting Club in which the Japanese girls moan about how life is a black void of depression as they systematically slash their wrists to a hilarious effect. After dating several cutters and just being clueless as to why someone would do something so stupid, this scene really lightened up the tone of damaged women and made me laugh aloud. The second and my personal favorite - the Ganguro Club. The Ganguro Club is based off a disastrously popular fashion in Japan that is basically a hybrid of Jersey Shore and Blackface. In VGvs.FG, the ganguro girls are led by more of an exaggerated pickaninny Negro with the big wrinkly lips, afro, and talk of her awesome Kenyan legs that will help her run for miles. While this may offend the weak willed, it turns a sub-par film into something that Troma would appreciate.

Apart from the hilariously "offensive" racial humor of the film, VGvs.FG is still the same film of explicit and illogical gore but at least placed within a proper context of setting and fashion unlike the abysmal Tokyo Gore Police which took place during the future with a "modern" backdrop. While the characters are slightly likable and the Vampire Girl's face is a tad bit attractive, I just don't have yellow fever like most American males do. With a surprising twist near the end of the film and several tantalizing characters, VGvs.FG remains a watchable film that finds itself to be curiously entertaining while being entirely politically incorrect. To be completely honest, I could probably get used to the gothic lolita fashion sported by Frankenstein Girl in her previous evolution. Not so much the disgusting crane monster. I still can't get over the fact that I slightly enjoyed this film. I deserve a drink for accepting this film.


1 comment:

jervaise brooke hamster said...

Kevin Smith is a pile of shit.