May 1, 2010

The Chocolate War

While I was attending an American public High school, students were required to read a couple books over the summer. Of course, it seemed very few people actually did this. After all Tyrone and Dervon could never even get close to reading a mere page, let alone a full-length novel. Most of the honkies could finish a book if they wanted, but that would require much more effort than reading text message slang and whatnot. Literacy is just too Eurocentric and should be looked at as crypto-racism. It would be against America’s dire commitment to equality if white students were actually pushed to their full potential and forced to read the great works of “dead white men.” It is much more important to read the fantastic works of half-literate Negress Zora Neale Hurston as it makes whites realize the true quality of Negro Kultur. Me, being the naughty bigot that I am, found most of the Negro Novels to be completely and utterly unintentionally hilarious. Despite not being Catholic, I decided to read the book The Chocolate War, a novel about the inter-politics of an elite Catholic Boys school. Sure, maybe I could not relate to the Catholic school system, but I could at least relate to a group of white boyz who know how to use big words like “education” and “institution.” With the novel The Chocolate War, I also decided to watch the 1988 film based on the book.

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How many Negroes attend the Catholic school in The Chocolate War?!? ZERO! How could a film be called The “Chocolate” War without a B-Balling brotha’ or a blunt blazin’ blackie? The film is about as white as they come featuring a group of well dressed gentlemen who display self-control and can use complex words beyond two syllables. I was surprised for such a book to make the reading list in High School, but because of the obvious message against the “system” of the Catholic School makes it appropriate subtle Cultural Marxist propaganda for those committed culture-distorters out there. Still, with all the corruptness of the Catholic school, I found much more quality in the school then say a public multicultural sewer (AKA American public school). After all, as the good Brother Leon says in The Chocolate War, “Boys will be Boys” and the boys in the film have a little conspiratorial fun not for destruction, but just for a little wholehearted power play-action. In The Chocolate War, one realizes there is a big difference between in-group games and out-group alien subversion such as that which has been plagued American public schools since the late 1960s.

The Chocolate War was directed by Keith Gordon, the fellow that played the automotive-obsessed nerd in the cinematic adaptation of Stephen King’s Christine. Due to the low-budget of The Chocolate War and Gordon’s keen business sense, the director was able to have virtual free reign over the creative process. Mr. Gordon cites auteur Nicholas Roeg as one of his main influences for the film and it shows. The Chocolate War has some interesting editing techniques that add to the film's fluidity and it does not get as masturbatory as Roeg’s films sometimes do. With the unique and sleek editing of the film also comes an 1980s synthesized soundtrack that puts the works of John Hughes to shame. In fact, The Chocolate War is kind of like a John Hughes film had the recently deceased director taken his cinema a little more seriously. The Chocolate War lacks all the silly melodrama that made many of the dramatic scenes in The Breakfast Club embarrassingly unwatchable.

Being an experienced actor, Keith Gordon was able to cast the right actors for the main roles in The Chocolate War. Lead protagonist and High School Freshman Jerry Renault was played excellently by Weird Science star Ilan Mitchell-Smith. Renault’s mother has just died and now he has a Catholic school student “secret society” known as The Vigils request him to do the dirty deed of not selling chocolates for a school fundraiser. The sinisterly suave leader of the Vigils, Archie, is played brilliantly by Wallace Langham. Despite Archie being the man of Renault’s torment, the two characters rarely communicate with one another in the film. Director Keith Gordon was able to quite nicely direct the lead characters of The Chocolate War and their relative worlds. Jerry Renault maybe a Freshmen nobody, but Mr. Gordon was able to get a performance out of the character that fully resonates the characters introverted world. Although “enemies,” both Jerry Renault and Archie are not the most different people in the world, quite the contrary actually. Their differences mainly comes from the system and hierarchy of the school more than anything with the Catholic system being the most dangerous element in the film, certainly much bigger than any one person.

The Chocolate War is a film that makes one realize how big of a joke American public schools are. Yeah, maybe the Catholic school system might have an “evil” power contained within it, but it is certainly no joke like the American public school zoo. I would have much preferred wearing a uniform in a serious private school instead of attending an American public school full of people who should have never been in school in the first place. There is a reason that less than half of students in America’s third world cities are graduating from High School. Even with all the low and pathetic standards of your typical American public school curriculum, the dullards aren’t passing anything but the crack pipe and scabies. I would not have minded partaking in a Chocolate war, but I would never have tolerated being part of an American public school urban Guerrilla war.

-Ty E


Unknown said...

"Negro Kultur" Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This is a masterpiece, you're a genious!!! I'm very happy you're back with your movie reviews!!!
Now we start to "enjoy" also in Italy "multicultural" (dis)education :-(

Turner said...

I must agree, I learned more in a private Christian school, wearing a uniform. As soon as I started public school in 9th grade, it was all down hill from there. I have much regrets about the education (or lack thereof) I received in the public school system.