Mar 17, 2009

Far Cry

Uwe Boll is without a doubt the Ed Wood* of our time. He creates video game film after video game film and legions of furious fans retaliate with lewd, crude comments towards his film making. The real kicker is that none of these "horrible" adaptations are based on good games so we're not missing anything really. The House of the Dead was a terrible, repetitive game and same with the film but for the films sake, reloading wasn't tiring, in fact, reloading never happened. We just popped the DVD in and let the rest unfold. Bloodrayne is an annoying and also repetitive vampire 3rd person action game. I'd rather waste my time on Soul Reaver. This was also an intolerable film. Far Cry marks one of the first quality video game renderings he has done and you know what? It's actually insanely dim-witted but charming to a point of excellence. This made me realize his vision of adaptations was a true and reflective vision of said piece. No one else can bring something of this caliber to film making and keep it legit.

A true auteur.

Now Far Cry came as a surprise to me, of all people. I'd seen the poster and the protagonist playing Jack Carver looked similar to Kim Sønderholm so I just assumed it was him. Upon viewing it, a very similar nasally voice exploded out of Jack Carver's mouth and it was then that I realized it was the very same Til Schweiger who had a part in SLC Punk in which he infamously screamed "Sink you fool!!" He has recently been cast to appear in Tarantino's unrelated "remake" of Inglourious Basterds. I can only assume he appears as an evil Nazi that gets his head smashed in by some Jew with a corny nickname that borders "Bear Jew." It was Schweiger and Schweiger alone that carried this film to B-movie greatness. While he doesn't portray the "badass" as well as should have been, he makes the film quirky, eventful, and overall fun as shit.

I'd played Far Cry a bit and it was built off impressive graphics and streamless landscaping. Now the film doesn't actually scope out these attributes but features an entirely Germanic atmosphere (something not seen in recent cinema) and exhilarating action sequences, which is unheard of for an Uwe Boll movie. No matter how hard the gun play tries, nothing can hold this film up like the lead casting role of Til does. His snarky one-liners and mediocre action scenes (normally involving a handgun) draw in a questionable amount of humorous ethics each bounding to a certain subject; sex, romance, scientific experimentation, stereotypical "wrong place/wrong time" character developments, and an outrageous sense of right and wrong. Sealing this films Teutonic credo is the antagonist casting of Udo Kier who, of course, plays the egomaniacal tortured artist who spreads his vision of recreating human nature in the form of genetically altered super soldiers, rabid paintings, and genetic mischief.

Fuck Bruce Campbell. Long live Til Schweiger.

If you haven't played Far Cry, the plot goes as such. Jack Carver, an alcoholic boatman ex-special ops agent, gets hired to bring a reporter to an island known for conspiracy theories based on genetic engineering. He soon finds himself in a heap of trouble. That's the basic of basic right there. With a cast of "Oh, I've seen them before" characters, Far Cry provides endless fun at no additional cost. For an Uwe Boll film, the result is actually hearteningly tacky. It's obvious that he has been honing his skill down into a dire form of get-money produce-quality film making but even this post-processed slice of B-movie cheese is beyond my comprehension. Far Cry is home to very funny times with some scenes with decent choreography. As I said, without Til Schweiger this film would have died on the operating table but somehow, a proverbial phoenix rises from the ashes to bring us one of the biggest surprise hits of our time. And I use "hit" very, very loosely.

*Some restrictions may apply



Unknown said...


I had no idea this was turned into a film. Uwe just doesn't give up does he?

jervaise brooke hamster said...

why did that british scum craig fairbrass have to be in this film, it almost completely ruined my enjoyment of it. Uwe boll is a great (ludicrously under-rated) unpretentious film maker, he could teach the british film industry so much, like "HOW TO MAKE A GOOD FILM", something that they seem to have real problems doing.