Mar 25, 2009

Dead Snow


Norway is in the midst of a horror boom. Only just recently did it appear to be crafting horror film after horror film, each with an advanced form of cinematography unheard of for what seems to be among the first experiments in horror. Due to the alarming festival buzz, a new Norwegian horror film is wholeheartedly accepted, especially when it's a Nazi zombie film. Dead Snow is not to be mistaken for the "viral" trailer of Worst Case Scenario, which looks to be an absolute masterpiece in presentation. As I expected it to be Worst Case Scenario, I was disappointed when I found out this was not the one and the same film I had been hoping for. In fact, what I got was yet another snowy horror film taking advantage of the fluffy white terrain to shed some much needed blood. Dead Snow is a tidy little film but the modus operandi reveals this film to be lacking in every aspect.


Dead Snow depicts 7 (+1) medical students vacationing in the snowy mountains for some festivities including drinking and fornication. After a traveling old hiker warns them of the evil lurking in the woods, most likely belonging to the wrath of Colonel Herzog and his SS officers who were chased into the mountain hills after plundering the citizenry for their shiny treasures. After time, they just assumed they froze to death. Boy were they wrong. After a dark and wintry night of disgusting sex acts including fucking a fat man prior to him taking a shit; he's still on the outhouse seat no less, we find that humanity is about to fall victim to the terror of the Third Reich once more. I wish the film had taken a pulp approach such as the last line illustrates but truth be told, the "Nazis" in Dead Snow are no more Nazis than they are Vampires. You'd think a "Seig Heil!" would be in order. Hell, this state of desperation would have me even begging for Die Hard actors but alas, there's no authenticity to be found. By end's time, we're just given Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Putty-lookalikes donning Nazi regalia. Stick to Call of Duty: World at War for the true blooded Nazi zombie experience.


Dead Snow's only real strength isn't even a natural one. The constant bloodshed is this film's only point of endurance. Had these "evil Germans" aspire to do the horrific acts that history books never let us live down, then maybe this film would have something to talk about. These Nazis don't want to "gas" Jews or cause pain and suffering. They just want their preciouses. The offensive nature of the Nazis in Dead Snow is brought on by theft of the Nazis valuables. This common theme is what makes Leprechaun such a tacky and light-hearted series. For a Nazi to commit such childish acts is a disgrace to script-writing everywhere. I'm sure Jane Goody could have written more three-dimensional characters as these.



Among many flaws is something of a comedy abstaining all elemental races of horror or vice-versa. At times a more favorable approach would be to make a "69" gag or clever zombie lore antics. While comedy is normally a first-rate piece of thematic in modern horror, Dead Snow does give way for the occasional scare and by occasional I can only point towards one scene in particular that had any tension behind it at all. Besides being a shallow hole and doused with pop-punk Norwegian equivalents to Linkin Park, Dead Snow prevails for being a slice of delicious entertainment. I refuse to take this film serious in any way and will only use this motion picture to bide my time for the highly anticipated Worst Case Scenario. Other than that jazz, Dead Snow also features a captivating and violent showdown scene of a hemophobic film nerd going batshit wild with a chainsaw. Dead Snow is a film that will charm the schieze out of most zombie fans and from this, a blindness will envelop, obscuring the many present fans from an ADHD generation. Perfect for people with low-attention spans.


-mAQ

1 comment:

thebonebreaker said...

Excellent Review mAQ!

I am looking forward to when this one gets released. . .