Feb 12, 2009

The Stench of Inglourious Basterds


I have never had any interest in reviewing “trailers” but Quentin Tarantino’s upcoming tour-de-fart war film Inglourious Basterds deserves soiled acknowledgement. After watching the trailer, it is apparent that Tarantino is hoping to achieve an all time low in cinematic defecation. Tarantino has always been a filmmaker that has been hostile to art and genuine human emotions but Inglourious Basterds seems to be evidence that Tarantino has snorted too much cocaine while simultaneously frying his “brain” on ecstasy. Inglourious Basterds is a film about a group of Jews who take revenge on evil German Nazis and scalp them. Talk about Science Fiction, Inglourious Basterds seems to feature fantasies that only a deranged Israeli IDF soldier could dream of after wasting an 8 year old Palestinian girl with a bullet to the head.


Fellow hack “director” and Tarantino ass kisser Eli Roth plays a Jew that kills Germans with a baseball bat in Inglourious Basterds. In the film trailer, Roth makes a stereotypical sinister Jewish smile that would have made great propaganda for the German National Socialists of 1933. Speaking of Nazi propaganda, Eli Roth also directed a fictional Joseph Goebbels Nazi propaganda film titled Stolz der Nation for Inglourious Basterds. Something tells me this will be Eli Roth’s greatest contribution to film yet. The real Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels wasn’t nicknamed “The Rabbi” in college for nothing. Self-loathing Jewish mentality can go a long way. Just ask Woody Allen, he made a career of it.

This poster would look much cooler with the Swastika intact.
Tarantino has never been someone that valued aesthetics.

Despite what Hollywood tells the world, “Aryans” were the ones that won World War II for the United States. German-Americans made up the largest ethnic group to fight for the United States in the war and the majority of the rest of soldiers were of Nordic descent. Inglourious Basterds is just an attempt by Tarantino to kiss the horrendous asses of his Hollywood masters due to his declining popularity. Instead of the passive-Jew-gets-shoved-into-the-gas-chamber angle Steven Spielberg practically invented, Tarantino wants to make up a myth that Jews collectively fought the Germans man-to-man in the second World War.

To be fair, Jews did take their revenge against the Germans after World War II. For example, Jewish Zgoda death camp commander Salomon Morel killed about 1,695 Germans (and a handful of Poles) for mere pleasure. He killed the German refugees by ill treatment, torture, and outright murder. One of his favorite ways of killing Germans was bashing their brains out with the end of a chair leg. Poland attempted to have Morel extradited from Israel for “crimes against humanity” but of course Israel declined. Naturally, Morel felt that he was a victim of an “anti-Semitic” plot.


Brad Pitt is fighting for the wrong side!

Inglourious Basterd looks like nothing new but just rehashing of the same kosher trash World War II propaganda. Don't get me wrong, Ilsa, She Wolf the SS is a fun flick and Liliana Cavani’s The Night Porter is a sexy film. When is Hollywood going to realize that no one cares about the holocaust as much Israel’s economy depends on it? There is one new holocaust film that I would like to see. A concentration camp comedy in the tradition of Billy Wilder’s Stalag 17 could be fun. Imagine Woody Allen and Larry David having starring roles where they complain about the condition of the concentration camps. I believe that it could be the funniest Jewish comedy since A Night in Casablanca by the Marx brothers.


-Ty E

7 comments:

Fox said...

Great blast TyE!

You had me rolling and giving phantom high-fives to your hand that wasn't here.

I haven't seen the trailer yet, but I'm about too after typing this. Thanks for hating Eli Roth as much (well maybe not AS much) as I do.

Johnny said...

While I certaintly respect and enjoyed reading your viewpoint, i've gotta disagree on this one. Tarantino's a genius and I have no doubt in my mind that this one will be another masterpiece.

Eli Roth rocks too, by the way!

Soiled Sinema said...

Fox-

*high five*

Expect an Eli Roth article in the future. Something tells me Roth isn't too fond of Slavs or Europeans in general. I have been putting it off probably because I don't want to have to re-watch his films. I also need to dig up some dirt on him.

Johnny- Thanks for the support. I value differing opinions, especially ones that don't come included with death threats(or other irrational attacks). BTW, I like your obscure Freddy Krueger articles. One day I will write an article in dedication to that suave burned up man with the red and green sweater. Freddy was a huge influence on me as a child.

-Ty E

iMike said...

"passive-Jew-gets-shoved-into-the-gas-chamber angle Steven Spielberg practically invented"

That's probably the funniest thing I've ever read, yet true. You may grab your torch and pitchforks for this one but, Schindler's List is actually one of my favorite films.. BUT... Speilberg, much like Oliver Stone, took just a little too much creative liberty and mix his warped vision with fact. I like his movies, I just don't like him, I believe he truly has a problem with non-Jews. That's obvious because he practically plasters it in his films..

As for Eli Roth, while I dug Hostel (the first film), the sequel was garbage, I agree with you about him being a QT ass kisser. Also, I didn't recognize him in the trailer, I knew the baseball bat wielding dude looked familiar. So yeah, great write up about it, I can't wait until the film comes out so I can read your review about it:)

iMike

jervaise brooke hamster said...

Quentin tarantino is a load of old rubbish and so are all of his films.

Samuel Wilson said...

Eli Roth has contributed at least one thing of value: the Thanksgiving trailer from Grindhouse. I can't comment on the rest. Meanwhile, the whole project under discussion sounds dubious. I've seen the original Inglorious Bastards and it aint that great.

beedubelhue said...

Wow.Just wow.Hahaha!