Jan 27, 2009

The King

No Christian is full of more shit than one of those that lead a life of “sin” and than decide it's time to atone for their sins and become reborn. Instead of drugs or gangbangs, these born again Christians find their new “high” in the form of making an ass of themselves by promoting Jesus like some deranged civil rights campaign. The pastor David Sandow in the film The King has found Jesus to be the ultimate outlet for his con man campaign for Christianity. But what happens when pastor David gets a visit from a half-Latino young man claiming to be his bastard son? What would Jesus do?

It seems as of recent that incest has been really hitting the mainstream. I guess if your ½ sibling is biracial it isn’t as bad as there is more genetic diversity. Elvis Valderez is not interested in telling his ½ sister that they are related. It doesn’t take long for this suave psychopath to get into the pants and into the hole of his holy sister. Like Jesus, Elvis is a rebel that is ready to breakdown social morals and barriers. Elvis is played by the charming Mexican actor Gael García Bernal. Knowing how Bernal is a heartthrob with the ladies nowadays, I found his role as Elvis to be quite refreshing. I always thought of Bernal as a sort of stupid model type, but his performance in The King leads me to believe that he’s a serious actor.

The talented actor William Hurt stars in The King as the Christian pastor David. Hurt is a multidimensional actor that can play both flamboyant homosexuals like he did in Kiss of the Spider Woman or a dirty mick mafia guy like he did in A History of Violence. In The King, William Hurt completely pulls off his performance as pseudo-wise and holy pastor. Pastor David is your typical backwards Christian false prophet. A family con man that feeds off the idiocy of those rural peasant folk who still have superstitions about Jesus and his righteous. Pastor David is essentially one of last remnants of a dying faith.

The disturbingly weak looking Paul Dano stars as pastor David’s spiritually impotent son Paul. Paul, like the putrid Saint Paul, spreads his Christian message for gentile dupes. Despite his “strong religious background,” Paul seems to be a soulless individual who has never lived a day in his life. It is as if Jesus drained him of his last pint of energy. Thankfully for Paul, his unknown ½ brother helps out with his desire to one day meet Christ. One could say that The King is a truly religious experience.

The Antichrists of Hollywood have done a lot to mock Christ and his message in history. Whether it be the homoeroticism of Cecil B. DeMille’s biblical films or a priest getting stoned in Detroit Rock City, Hollywood has all Christ hating angles covered. The King is different in that it is a complete defilement of the “ideal” Christian nuclear family and its values. What better defiler than the bastard son (Jesus?) of a Latino mother?

-Ty E

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