Dec 4, 2008

Sonic the Hedgehog


Not to be confused with the herd of other Sonic related animated works. This one is entirely in its own league. Originally two OVA's fused together in Japan, this outflows both the horrid Sonic X television show and any "Adventures of" series that features useless and dramatized critters with spunk. Sonic is definitely a fragile franchise, as seen by his slow demise thanks to the plethora of Sonic games released by Nintendo/Sega that are rotting to the core.


Sonic the Hedgehog is an intense and sentimental relic of my childhood. Being a child born without a silver spoon in my mouth, I had no way of ever hoping for a video game system, seeing as how the economy was back in those times. My father's friend gave me, out of the blue, his Sega Genesis with Sonic the Hedgehog. I was instantly addicted to the world of the silent hero. Migraines had never been so sweet and homework was never so useless. Who needs education when going the speed of fictitious sound? Then the unthinkable happened - Chairmen decided Sonic was lacking a personality, so they took Keanu Reeves' role in Point Break as an inspiration to give him "spunk".


Ruined my childhood as well.

The appointed film starts off with Sonic being totally nihilistic whilst tanning. This allows for you to witness first hand that Sonic doesn't care about anything, let alone his friends. They took the Tails-falling-behind mechanic too seriously. Representing the English dubbing, the verdict is guilty for an almost-unbearable dubbing. The only one they managed to nail on the head was Dr. Robotnik (I refuse to call him Eggman). The Japanese touch is present while viewing this film. Constant references to sexual humor and assault are noticeable. Sonic stares at the stunning Sara's camel toe as well as many cut scenes including breast-grabbing, middle finger flicking, and Knuckles screaming " SHIT!".


What works so well is the flawless port of the action included in the award winning franchise. Sonic indeed speeds, rolls into the light speed ball, springs up, and homing attacks caterpillar baddies. It's almost invigorating to view a fight worthy of fame against Metal Sonic. Had this been Sonic slaying fat Robotnik in various machines, this would have been an absolute disaster. But thanks to the menacing presence of Metal Sonic, the film has that "Ultimate Showdown" scenario that creates a motion picture mood.


The Japanese pop used in the films soundtrack might be an elusive "of what's to come" in the disappointingly underrated game Sonic R. Most of Sonic's classics are sadly not appreciated as much as should be, leaving the ripe trash to be picked by fanboys who know nothing of a good video game. Dr. Wiley may have created the greatest robot designs by Robotnik's Metal Sonic encompasses the soul of a villain - merciless, cold, intimidating, and incredibly powerful. Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie is a film worthy of the title of the bad to the bone Hedgehog. Entertaining, fun, and calculated - this is definitely worth a viewing.



-mAQ

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think YOU should review the entire Metal Gear Solid series.

Comrade Pants said...

"Constant references to sexual humor and assault are noticeable. Sonic stares at the stunning Sara's camel toe as well as many cut scenes including breast-grabbing, middle finger flicking, and Knuckles screaming " SHIT!""

I thought you were kidding when I read that. Then I read the Wikipedia article.