Dec 7, 2008

Curse of the Puppet Master

Without a doubt, one of the most disappointing, distressing, wacky, and maligned films ever created was Curse of the Puppet Master. Hated by everyone and spited by everything, this film is regarded as one of the worst films ever created. In light of recognizing the aesthetics behind Full Moon, I have come to terms with Curse and urge you to reconsider relieving the tension on your incendiary opinion towards what might be the most original take of the Puppet Master lore.

Curse of the Puppet Master takes a classic tale alike John Steinbeck and alters it into a sub-par horror film with hints of a magic philosophy and low-grade romance no doubt written by a lonely man with fantasies of hooking up with well-off, successful women. The turn witnessed at hand ifs a full 180°. The long lost visual effects of David Allen will be missed sorely. It's as if the puppets have carpal tunnel syndrome keyed in by their non-stop fidgeting in a sour attempt to give them the look of life, but this same plague can be said for the last 3-4 films.

My friend once did a mock impersonation of an incredibly popular sound byte of a man screaming in a "Hyeaaa Hyeaaaaahhh Hyeeaaaaaahhhh" fashion. Having sounded familiar, I wasn't sure if I had just watched too much Ahh! Real Monsters as a child. What do you know, 2 minutes into Curse of the Puppet Master, this very same clip was played to an excruciating effect as you watch a mysterious puppet get doused in gasoline, only to be replayed some odd 20 minutes later.

A vapid sex-crazed daughter of a doctor then dabbles in an art of seducing the "stable boy". She tells the idiot "The brain is the most overrated organ." Perhaps the scribe of said script was furious at all the other quality fluff getting published while his unfinished Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys script ended up in Charles Band's trash receptacle. As for the femininity plane in Curse of the Puppet Master, the end result is nil. They strive for a miserable damsel in constant distress, but the screen is to busy glorifying jock rapists.

What works is some rather interesting budding philosophies towards labor and spirituality. Dr. Magrew tells Tank that if you work hard enough with blood & sweat, you can give anything life. This is the motto that Tank follows to his inevitable, albeit goofy, grave. Curse of the Puppet Master is no worse than Puppet Master 4 or 5. While I once had some respect for the film on a level of how bad it was, I realized that the director of Leatherface was actually the one and the same.

Not related.

DeCoteau will later move onto directing Retro Puppet Master which is without a doubt one of the atrocious films I have ever seen. For an excuse to cover his directing Curse of the Puppet Master, he adopted the "Alan Smithee" way out and renamed himself Victoria Sloan. If I had directed two of the most disappointing sequels in the history of low-budget horror, I'd want people to account it on me being a woman director as well. Curse of the Puppet Master is indeed a horrible film, but it takes an ancient franchise and gives it a fancy new makeover, even if it was better off untouched.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

ahh! real monsters is the shit.