Nov 10, 2008

Donkey Punch


Wow. What a provocative and sensational title. When a film encompasses its roots as well as Olly Blackburns's does, it's sure to be a surefire hit, am I right? Donkey Punch follows the extracurricular activities of "chavs doing chavvy things". This plot summary was blissfully composed and surprisingly summarizes the film perfectly. Don't expect a scandalous thriller compromising the lives of British youngsters, instead you will find a film that borrows elements from Mean Creek and an intense kill ala Haute Tension.


For those of you who are unaware of what a Donkey Punch is - Urban Dictionary. I'd recommend this website for the jolly fuck that wrote this film as well. The Donkey Punch manoevre is when you punch the back of the head, not generally the neck, but perhaps that fed towards the plausibility of the stupid slut dying during copulation. At first I expected an I Know What You Did Last Summer approach but found myself bored as these feisty tweens constantly contradicted themselves and flipping every which alignment in a befuddled mess that smelled worse than the ocean they were sailing.


The blows are interchanged on the dot, leaving much to wonder. What you are given is a sub-par blow-by-blow revenge film that isn't "Crazysexycool" or anything in between. While Donkey Punch isn't entirely horrible, I wouldn't actually recommend it save for 2 of the death scenes. While 4/5 of the males are "right wankers", the lot all have their gleaming moments which allow you to redefine their characteristics. This might be the biggest anticipation for Sundance, but it is also the biggest let-down.


Taking a stride from the average film concerning the perils of the nuclear family, Donkey Punch doesn't know where it stands on the issue of sexism. It bloats its way through each scenario making each sex look stupider and stupider as time wears thin. First, the women whore themselves out to strangers, consume narcotics, and get beaten silly only to end up dead, then the male becomes the abusive Neanderthal lugging around a guilty conscience.


Things even out slightly as the end justifies the means. The biggest poisonous blow was the script. The beginning is a full-fledged cerebral assault on the average "yank". The cockney slang is whipped out encore style with no mercy. You'll be begging to hear some proper English in a matter of minutes. Nigel Thornberry comes to mind. Suddenly, I can hear "Smashing!" being repeated endlessly. Donkey Punch wants nothing more than to be a chaotic neutral friend to the battle of the sexes. Tis a pity, O' adolescence.


-mAQ

2 comments:

taint said...

whats with all the nazi shit all over the page? im a first time visitor from a link i saw on demonoid.com. get at me on my blog if you wish

jervaise brooke hamster said...

i love heterosexual buggery but i hate british made films. These kinds of films are so good when the`re american made but when the british try to make them they are laughable, pathetic, and totally unwatchable.