Oct 19, 2008

Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!

The 2007/2008 timeline features many historical highs and lows. The first in the history of the United states - A black and female presidential candidate with serious campaigns. The Red Sox win the World Series, and the Beijing Olympics is dominated by American Michael Phelps. These aren't the important things. The hot topic on everyone's agenda is the latest zombie film to come out. People eat up zombie films (Pun intended). To tie up the infinity knot of equilibrium, Zombie Strippers and Strippers VS. Zombies had to be released within close proximity of each other. Just what we need, more zombie films.

Now that I have let out an exasperated sigh, I will begin to explain just how dead the zombie genre is. We've seen loved ones become zombies time and time again. The scene thats cemented in Zombie film making 101 of having to kill your own family grows tiresome after awhile. I really don't care that Bobby Teenager had to kill his dog with an undisclosed weapon. Zombie films lack the motivation in creation and it's spreading like a disease. Zombies are officially dead to me.

The biggest annoyance is the non-stop bitch fest we are treated to. Do not view this product if you have an aversion to Bad special effects, horrible plot development, stale jokes attempting to poke and prod pop culture, uninspired zombies, and horrible actors playing horrible characters. With the exception of two, I find the cast of pimps, geeks, and whores to be tiring and a nuisance. The horror stripper film genre wasn't something to be dabbled in until From Dusk Till Dawn. This is the definitive anti-female empowerment film. After all, who wants to see "bitches" pretending to cat fight for 78 minutes?

As soon as the "zombie drug" gets smoked in rock form, horny middle-aged men begin getting infected but the incident at hand is a contained infection. It's just a boring crowd of no-talent zombie creations groaning in front of a sealed shed that's called a strip club. Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! is an attempt to successfully turn another zom-com out but this isn't anything new. The line "I've had it with these mother fucking zombies in my mother fucking strip club!" almost saves it, but nay. Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! blows as much as the next year 200? zombie film.



Anonymous said...

For the record, VAMP (1987) was the first prominent Horror-movie-in-a-strip-club film. Sorely underrated and overlooked.

Soiled Sinema said...

Never heard of that. But the cover art looks very familiar? I think I saw this in one of those "CAMP Collections". Thanks for the recommendation.

Keith said...

This weekend I watched a zombie movie called Flight of the Living Dead. It's zombies on a plane.

a pious atheists virtuous indignation said...

I seem to remember "vamp" being quite good but its almost 20 years since i saw it on television, i watched "flight of the living dead" on youtube and it was superb, i`ve seen "zombies vs strippers" and "zombie strippers" and i thought they were both good films. Although i do agree with some of the things you said in your reveiw i still think that zombie movies have a lot to offer, and certainly much more than romantic comedys, westerns, musicals, drama`s, and gangster movies, all those genres reached their sell-by date a long time ago, where-as horror, science fiction, fantasy, and animation, (in other words all the imaginitive, weird, strange and marvellously entertaining stuff), obviously represents the future for film making in general. Actually i was thinking that even the action genre is beginning to wear a bit thin lately as well, (unless they throw some horror or science fiction element into the pot to jazz things up, then they are much better). Anyway getting back to "zombies! zombies! zombies!" there were some hot chicks in this film and i`d love to bugger them all, i`d also like to bugger all the chicks in "zombie strippers" as well while they were all still in full zombie make-up. My own personal favorite zombie movie is george a. romero`s 1985 masterwork "day of the dead" and my favorite zombie chick is the truly astounding mindy clarke in the ludicrously under-rated "return of the living dead 3", (my second favorite zombie movie of all time), she was breathtaking i would gladly give a lottery win to spend the rest of my life buggering that incredible chick.

Anonymous said...

You should look into Tokyo Zombie. It's Japanese made (obviously), and is based off of manga by the same name. Don't let that be a deterrent, however. The main characters are judo black belts who go about slaughtering zombies with their bare hands.

There's also some nightmarish themes of pederasty and a penis-biting scene.