Sep 20, 2008

Trampa Infernal

When I worked at Movie Gallery, we had shelves full of Mexican films. The very thought disgusted me. At first I thought it was cause of my intolerance to the seedy "Illegal Aliens" but when I glanced at the back of several of these films, my hatred was affirmed. What lie before my eyes were Mexican drag queens with pistols and an obscene amount of lipstick. No, these weren't Spanish films. These were Mexican.

I stared at the plot and screen captures for Trampa Infernal (Hell's Path) long and hard. I wasn't sure if I wanted to brave through another cinematic atrocity. It's fine when it's from my homeland, but trash from Mexico? Even worse than having Terminal Cancer. What I got from this film was a animated gallery of the ugliest actors to ever appear on screen and a fraudulent film copying American classics.

Take Michael Myer's Mask, give him Freddy Krueger's glove, then make him exactly like Predator except earthly. That is Jesse; this films villain. He is a war-vet who kills people for a completely unknown reason. Most of this films events happen completely without reason or trial. It's like that Gomez was simply shouting to his crew, "Yes! Throw that in the film!"

I use the term film loosely. Our main bastard's name is Nacho, or Pancho. I really wasn't paying much attention to him thanks to his early 90's Weird Al fro. It's an equally disgusting hair piece mixed with the face of a goblin. Honestly, most of my dislike for this film stems from the unattractive cast but also is rooted deep within the films own disease. Simply put; its existence.

Several scenes show off the budget and the directors passion excruciatingly well. Such as a machine gun shoot out which involves two physical indications of impact. Hundreds of rounds per minute and only a man is shot. His surroundings and the trailer remain intact. Meanwhile, no bullets pierce drywall or those sand bungalows those damn Mexicans live in.

There may be some character who may approach you and start talking "gnarly" saying things like "Yeah mannn this is so bad it's good!" No. No it is not. Trampa Infernal is similar to eating Taco Bell and being stricken with explosive diarrhea. This is an uninspired, uninformed, and completely devoid of any respect from me.



Anonymous said...

"The very thought disgusted me. At first I thought it was cause of my intolerance to the seedy perverts".

Are you serious? Are you a racist? please tell me that your joking, or your hatred is affirmed?

Soiled Sinema said...

Calm down, Mr. Lopez.


Soiled Sinema said...

There, I edited it to "Illegal Aliens" as to not offend such an upstanding citizen as yourself.