Sep 30, 2008

Rollerball (2002)


I'm an action junkie, plain and simple. Most of these Hollywood churn-outs over the years have managed to entertain me. None of them can stand up to the classics, but I am always satiated with an ample dose of chases, explosions, and vulgarity. My adrenaline drive is what I need quick fixes for and this is why I go out of my way at times to watch something I don't expect anything from but merriment.


From the director of the greatest action films of all time, Die Hard's John McTiernan has an illustrious and short filmography. Rather than quantity over quality, his short run has provided massive enjoyment for fans of any genre. In fact, I didn't even realize how many of my childhood favorites he directed. We got Predator, Die Hard, Last Action Hero, and Die Hard with a Vengeance. McTiernan has developed into a shallow reflection of what he used to be.

Yes. I hate your film too.

With a cast of Chris Klein, LL Cool J, and some dame with weird eyebrows, I found this film to be tipping the scale of depravity for its innocent viewers. Chris Klein is that annoying douche on American Pie. It's rather relieving to see him in a film where he wouldn't be a douche. Well, what do you know? He's still a douche, but this time in the future. LL Cool J is a horrible rapper and actor but somehow I am still drawn to his works as I am to Bruce Willis' blues album, but sadly his lack of acting talent isn't exploited.


10 minutes into the film, I discovered that they erased any socio-political ties that the original film held and just made an extreme sports film for the MTV gene pool. I find Rollerball (2002) to be in that same category of Extreme Ops. Don't remember that film? Me either. With the pleasant surprise of including Jean Reno in this film as the villainous Russian tycoon Petrovich, I found his character and charisma underused as I watched them run his character into the ground. While this film pertained to boldly debasing the Russian population, I'm surprised the cast wasn't crucified.

Picture related.

With all this in mind, expect a 15 minute action scene filmed entirely in night vision. That's correct. Of all the vapid ideas for visual excitement and yearning to think "outside the box", this has to be one of the worst ideas since Blade Runner 2. Rollerball (2002) is a film that should have never been made. It is one of the worst Hollywood films I've seen in ages. Boring, bland, and led by a cast of buffoons, this films only achievement is to ruin John McTiernan's reputation.



-mAQ

2 comments:

Fred [The Wolf] said...

ROLLERBALL is a waste of 2 hours I'll never get back. What a piece of crap.

feels like i`m made outta gingerbread, a-ha, mm-mm, a-ha, mm-mm, (yes, that really is the name on my birth certificate). said...

yes, this film is garbage but its still a thousand times better than anything that the british film industry has ever produced, (or could ever dream of producing), how many times do i have to remind everyone of that one simple fact. Please stop trashing american films, (no matter how supposedly bad they are), i`d rather watch "plan 9 from outer space" than "lawrence of arabia" anyday.