Sep 5, 2008

Bat Pussy


Where can I possibly begin. This film is so incredibly awful that I don't know what to say. 1973 was an eventful year; Nixon decided it was time to reconsider America's place in 'Nam, The Roe v. Wade case empowers women across the globe, and Picasso passed away. Of all the things I'd be most likely to remember about this year, It would be the release of Bat Pussy. Take the adult cast of Roseanne and Married with Children and force them to have awkward 69 scenes. The deficient offspring would be Bat Pussy.



Buddy: "I want HOT pussy on the grill!"

That is the kind of dialogue we are treated with. Most pornographic videos tries to build a story with under 10 actual lines, but no, Bat Pussy is 50 goddamn minutes of non-stop child support threatening redneck action. Buddy and Sam are an average American couple, rolling around in their bed complaining about bills and how slutty each other are.

There lines are often confused and the sound is cut as the poor cast looks towards the crew for their next lines. My pal Pete told me this film was bad, but I didn't realize a spectrum of film this horrible existed. I have found the 4th dimension of horror and she's called Bat Pussy. You'll know her when her twat twitches. That's when she senses a crime in progress. Such as a couple filming an amateur smut film without her.

Buddy: "BATWOMAN!!"
Sam: "...it's Bat Pussy"

Buddy: "BAT PUSSY!"

Buddy has a little problem. He suffers from erectile dysfunction. Not so much a hardcore film as they are just chewing on each others genitalia for 50 minutes screaming at each other, threatening to file for divorce the next day and how big Sam's pussy is. I've never seen a porn where the star stays limp dick the entire duration of the film. It seems to defy physics.

Bat Pussy is utterly unwatchable but the replay value is so high. This is a film that exceeds its own limitations, thus becoming a wildly quotable film. I could never recommend a film and warn them at the same time until I saw Bat Pussy. Dora Dildo is the only good looking face in this film and that's not saying much. Watching her tumble on her Hoppity-Hop is too damn hilarious. Bat Pussy is a masterpiece porn spoof of a downright terrible caliber.


-mAQ

1 comment:

teddy crescendo said...

Just to put things into perspective again, the day The British film industry produces anything that is even 100th as good or entertaining as "Bat Pussy" Richard Dawkins will convert to Islam !!!.