Lo and behold, It sucks. No wonder they kept a wrap on the specifics and dainty details of this film. So, a paedophile Catholic priest has visions of a kidnapped Jewish FBI agent and her whereabouts. It's up to the sinful Catholic to save the soul of a Jew in this extremely un-tense thriller. Scully and Mulder are once again called in to head forth into "the darkness" in this incredibly bland TV drama. Like a bad episode, they stick with boring phenomenon.
How the X-Files clicked so well with me was it's raffish use of cryptzoology, abductions, and other wicked beasties that appear on screen. It's fairly uncommon to see these creatures with a serious entertainment personality. The Mothman, Jersey Devil, Bigfoot, and the Loch Ness were all amazing to view in this tense television series that also chronicled the ridiculous sexual tension between two of the greatest TV characters.
Scully has a difficult time trusting the boy-bound blissful priest. The two lovers are torn between faith, belief in other-worldly conditions, and what's right. There has to be some conflict, right? I'd hate to bring in spoilers for a film that isn't out, but due to it being a few of the only scenes I liked, I see no harm in doing so.
Near the end, in one of the "revelation" scenes, we witness a Re-Animator inspired scene that actually got a shock from me. A distant death bed for a trans-gendered fantastical operation. Those crazy Russians. Who'd have thought the latest film to jump on the "Horrifying world of Eastern Europe" would be an X-Files film? The plot is bland, the script is bland, and art direction is genericly ripped from Fargo. If the new X-Files movie were a cereal, it would be the Wheaties of the bunch. No sugar and spice here; just classic drivel.
I really wanted to love this. I did enjoy parts of it. I wanted to believe that this would be worth my ever-lasting time, but sadly it wasn't. This film disregards most of the X-Files timeline and creates a modern day world for the two ex-FBI agents. A watered down psychic story with a bullshit "twist." Gillian Anderson never ceases to get more and more beautiful with age though. Much like a fine wine. Much better than the first film. At least they did one thing right.