Jul 11, 2008


When I think of action films, the phrases "Fuck the rules" and "Yippie Ki Yay, Motherfucker!" come to mind. Now not every film can be Die Hard, Hell, there will never be one as good as the original, but Wanted is a valiant effort from a director who understands exactly what men want in film; Women, guns, stunts, and amazing special effects.

Wanted would best be described as a masturbatory shoot-em-up, only not as horrible as Shoot Em' Up. Wanted succeeded where Clive Owen's film failed miserably. Wanted is the definition of nihilism on screen and presents itself as The Matrix meets Fight Club. This is a most over-used comparison, but it happens to be the best. Geek chic meets bullet-time assassin hellbent on revenge. That's what this film mainly is; a revenge film.

Wanted is the kind of film where you walk into the theater expecting fancy gun play and gratuitous expletives, and oh boy, does it deliver! James McAvoy plays a loser cubicle jockey who suffers from bad anxiety attacks. After a shoot out in a general store/pharmacy, he is recruited under a fraternity of assassins led by the esteemed Sloan (Morgan Freeman) to track down and kill his fathers murderer.

Based on a controversial graphic novel, this is but a loose adaption. Had it been faithful, there would be an A-list celebrity being brutally raped. If only. Wanted is a film that is extremely successful due to it's enormous star appeal. Not too long ago, my mother expressed her wishes to see this film, to which I exclaimed "NO!" My mother is the type that resents violence, and thanks to the wise casting choice of Morgan Freeman, I guess she assumes it's a normal film that has morals. Could she be any more wrong?

An action lovers wet dream; Wanted features insane stunts that could not possibly be considered due to the law of physics, although Sloan does have a point challenging the straight path to a bullet just as Sam Neill's character challenged the quickest way to get to a destination (Folding space/time) in Event Horizon. Wesley Gibson (McAvoy) starts off in the film as an embarrassment to humanity, then later morphs into a beautiful butterfly balanced with banging ballistics. I'm not kidding. This man goes bat shit insane resulting in one of the most over-the-top rampages I've seen since Rambo.

If you're new to extreme nihilism, repeat "Fuck the world" before you see this film and prepare for a balls-to-the-wall action experience of which likes I've rarely seen. Don't expect calculated shots or artistic scenery in this summer blockbuster. This is the first in a trilogy from the director of the Russian smash series Night/Day/Dusk Watch. Be warned. I needed a change of underwear after this film.



Anonymous said...

That movie poster is frightening! Her arm is about the width of a Philly blunt! I mean, I understand the girl likes to adopt starving Africans, but she doesn't need to make them feel THAT comfortable with her! Is there a scene where that gun she's holding weighs too much and makes her fall over?

jervaise brooke hamster said...

i love girls with big tits and thin, spindley, chicken like arms its a fabulous combination (they look so totally and utterly defenseless and vulernable to male heterosexual lust). With regards to "wanted" it was truly magnificent entertainment of the highest calibre, although all i was thinking about for most of its running time was how much i "wanted" to bugger angelina jolie.