Jun 15, 2008

The Girls Rebel Force of Competitive Swimmers

I don't intend on droning on concerning the depth of a film when it is as shallow as this one. With all H20 puns aside, TGRFCS is just another lackluster Asian splatter film that throws in cheesy arterial sprays and soft-core lesbian scenes to make up for the lack of plot and/or acting performances, so expect a short 'to the point' review.

The plot is a standard zombie romp but this time it spreads through a school. When they or I say school, we actually mean a swim team. This is a closed off virus that seems to affect only horny school girls or their horny teachers. What seems like it would be a marvel companion piece to the marvelous film- The Machine Girl, is actually just another horrid Japanese film that attempts to cash in on the zaniness of such films as Stacy or Marrionier, and I'm not saying these films are good either.

The production values on this film present them as worse as they possibly can. Competitive Swimmers looks as if it was shot on Digital Video and had a classroom retard design the special effects and gore for this film. Just when something "saucy" would be happening, the camera creates some angle or trick that could save them money but not showing said injury.

After a few very soft-core lesbian scenes which climaxes "sexplode" with the most obnoxious, high-pitched orgasms I have heard in a motion picture, the film returns to scenes of the coach whipping the females and then the females cry and then they turn into zombies and then they kill each other and cry. That is the plot. What an awful, awful film. No type of B-expectations could have prepared you for this.


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