May 24, 2008


I won't jerk your chain around one bit, this film is awful. In the opening shot, we have a faux trailer for a film that was never made. With a provocative title like Don't Go in the Fucking Woods, how could you go wrong? That is a promising title and alone might show whats to come. With this trailer, you see admiration in their work and the ability to slack around on camera, with Nekro, they take it too seriously.

You might be asking "How can making a film be too serious?" Well, when the homicidal maniac does nothing but growl and scream while his voice is altered into death metal shrieks for around 15 minutes straight, you begin to look for the strongest Ibuprofen lying around. Vince Roth intended to create a contender for such classic art films documenting necrophilia and in attempting, succeeded in dumbing down the morbid act of love.

(All of this is incorrect and lacking punctuation. The only truth is that the plot is simple)

Nekro is an exploitation film at it's worse. I subscribe whole-heartedly to the idea of creating a piece of Super 8 trash which fits in the quality niche of German splatter, but I'm sorry to say that Nekro is a disappointing short. Nekro involves a Cradle of Filth fan dragging a pudgy woman up the stairs. He screams some and hits walls. He stabs her over 30 times and has sex with her in the missionary position. *Insert mayonnaise squishing sounds* *Insert implausible Shyamalan twist ending* SCENE

Nekro is graphic, violent, and throttled with sex with a gored body. This doesn't make it good. In fact, I'm rather glad that Don't Go into the Fucking Woods was never created. I'm sure you can only tolerate a single dose of voice distortion that is prescribed in Nekro. The plot is a metaphor for the entire film. You may be able to fuck what is dead, doesn't mean it will be satisfying. Nekro is a dead film that didn't make me cum.


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