Mar 19, 2008

Tales from the Carnal Morgue


David Quitmeyer has impressed me before with his "goreporn" Slaughter Disc which also manages to be anti-porn at the same time. A remarkable feat for an independent director. So moving on to the collection of his shorts, I had high hopes for a possible trio of disturbing erotica, but what i found was a retarded version of Are You Afraid of the Dark?

There are three tales you must go through in order to complete this cinematic torture fest. The first one is perhaps the most ambitious, but due to its own broken promise of being a disturbing erotic horror film, it is very amateur film.

MAIL ORDER BRIDE


The plot is of a businessman who is broken up and lonely. He uncovers a robotic sex doll that will do anything to please you, the PC-2000 (Personal Concubine.) You show the doll your favorite pornographic videos and it will mimic your favorite fetishes, no matter how taboo or degrading they are. While set up for an interesting premise, the film is dragged into it's own grave by horrendous acting, horrendous effects, and an overall horrendous execution. I like my horror films to be at least well constructed. This has no real value of any sorts. Avoid this title.

MR. BUTTONS


If there is one genre that never gets old, it is the animated doll/inanimate objects. In this tale, they take that amazing genre, and add a dash of those kids horror novels "Goosebumps" into it. A woman who has some ex-lover storyline and wants revenge. She cuts off a rubber finger and stitches it in the nose. With a incredible twist (sarcasm), it turns out that anything she wishes for, happens in some weird twisted way. This is the best short, but it is far from great.

SUSTENANCE


This film is reminiscent of most females, perfectly preserved, just with a dash of horror/sci-fi in the mix. A model thinks she is fat, who is played by the lovely Caroline Pierce. She attempts to lose weight by undergoing an experimental procedure which involves them removing some fleshy organ from her naval, and locking her in a room for a while. This boils down to premature acting from Pierce, who should stick to being sinister, rather than her screaming and eating dog food. She doesn't have what it takes to be a scream queen.

All in all, this collection of shorts is ultimately passable. His film Slaughter Disc is a vast improvement, so i won't hold this volume of embarrassing shorts against him. Let's face it, the only plausible reason you'd be viewing this, is either for the blood, or the nudity. This film has little of both. Pass this unless you are a die hard fan of Pierce. She almost makes it worth it.


-Maq

1 comment:

jervaise brooke hamster said...

To be anti-porn in any way is to be anti-the future, just like being anti-electricity 100 years ago !!!. By the way, i dont care how bad these films are they`re still 1000 times better than anything the British film industry has ever produced.