Mar 15, 2008


Neil Marshall is a name in horror that i trust. His iconic British werewolf film Dog Soldiers was all kinds of awesome. Next, The Descent, was a feminist film that i could actually tolerate and had a brilliant multi-layer ending. With Doomsday on the way, i was excited for it, no matter how bad the trailers looked.

I was actually forced in submission to screen Doomsday for any print errors. I had no idea i would be in the most cinematic pain i had ever been forced to behold. The film starts off with a climax of sorts. The containment of Britain due to the "Reaper Virus." This leads to complications and the mass killing of civilians. They seal off the country with a huge China-esque Great Wall. It starts off with 28 Weeks Later, moves to Aeon Flux, goes into Escape from New York, switches to The Road Warrior, then mixes with Gladiator or First Knight.

Doomsday is a complete piece of trash. The only thing i can really admire about the film is the make-up and costumes of the neo-punk mutants. The acting on their part was equally admired but had too much screaming. Class Of Nuke'Em High did it better. It got all too bland, all too quickly. Marshall thought it would be surprising to mix a Medieval setting in the mix; a clashing of era's. This only digs the hole deeper.

These dystopian films that have been churning out lately are some sort of propagandist subliminal message. Films like I Am Legend, Independence Day, 28 Days and Weeks, and Cloverfield all lend a hand in delivering this end-of-the-world feel that has been terrifying the weak-willed as this supposed biblical date looms closer.

The crew sent on the mission to find the cure is among the stupidest band of hooligans save for Dog Soldiers "Spoon." It had it's own brand of racism to make such an idiotic token black character. Of course, to compliment the on-screen atrocities, Marshall felt the need to incorporate characters who are just plain invincible. People who get shot and beaten but will not die. Cars that auto-heal all broken glass and can fly through a bus unscathed.

The beginning was annoyingly set-up and the family drama shit could have been left alone. The ending was completely oblivious to the whole film and just defeated every purpose this rag-tag clan of pussies fought for. Bob Hoskins wasn't Mario, and the all of a sudden stunt driving was so out of place for a woman who grew up in a confined area where there is a strict curfew. How can i respect a film that has Bob Hoskins not as Mario?

Action is not a ridiculous genre. It does not call for these blasphemous scenes that challenge the viewers intelligence. Doomsday is devoid of any artistic merit, atmosphere, or any original concept. I feel bad for anyone who watches this post-apocalyptic over-produced piece of shit.



jervaise brooke hamster said...

i want to bugger rhona mitra.

Anonymous said...

But she's British you sad cunt and from what we've all read about your twatty pedo rantings you don't like the Brits or girls over 13. Again, your a cunt.

jervaise brooke hamster said...

The Anonymous commenter is obviously very frightened of the future. 100 years ago he would probably have been equally frightened by electricity, the telephone, the horseless carriage, the cinematograph, and powered flight.