Feb 2, 2008

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

It has been a couple years since the release of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. This piece of blasphemous garbage helped carry the torch for the Horror remake trend (among other trash). The first people need to realize is that the “remake” is just a moneymaker. When you remake a well known film it’s guaranteed that people are going to watch it. Michael Bay (the cinematic antichrist) knows this as he was the producer of the film (and a handful of other Horror remakes).

Texas Chainsaw Massacre is also a propaganda film. The film is used as a tool to scare city folks into being afraid of rural areas. This Long Island invention has been long and running in Horror films for over thirty years (and probably longer). The same people that condemn what they call “Xenophobia (which is just a Marxist agitator tool)” promote the hatred of “rednecks.” I think its pretty fair to say that if you walk around in a city you are more likely to get killed. Hollywood hates people from rural areas and the South. They fear “rednecks” as these “horror” films reflect.

The remake of TCM takes away all the magic that was found in the original. The original TCM is a masterpiece because of it’s realist feel. One could even say that the original TCM borders cinéma-vérité. The remake of TCM is just a cheap piece of gratuitous trash leaving out all the great elements of the original. Having 7th Heaven star Jessica Biel play the role of a strong female character in TCM should make any horror film cringe.

The only positive aspect of TCM is R. Lee Ermey plays the role of the local sheriff. Ermey is a hilarious fellow and a great comedian. His performance in Full Metal Jacket alone is enough to confirm his place in acting history (a true method actor?). Lee Ermey does a great job scaring the shit out of hippies and that is to his credit in TCM. His performance in the horrible TCM prequel(Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning) was even worth seeing.

Most of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre related films are complete shit (with the exception of the original and second). Furthermore, most remakes are complete shit. If people stopped watching them, they wouldn’t get made. Cannibal Holocaust and Last House on the Left are expected to get remade sometime in the near future. The people involved in these projects should be burned at the stake.

-Ty E


jervaise brooke hamster said...

i want to bugger jessica biel.

peregrine fforbes-hamilton said...

everybody in the world wants to bugger jessica biel, she`s one of the hottest chicks of all time.