Nov 18, 2007

Trackman


"A dreadful foreign slasher film from Russia”. That should be the plot synopsis for this lame attempt of creating scares. Most American horror films have become garbage, incorporating jump tactics and shitty remakes. When I saw the poster for Trackman, I was hooked. Boasting dark colors and wicked weaponry, it seemed like a bashful blast in painfully executing Russian teenagers.

The water-thin plot follows a pack of bank robbers receding into the tunnels under Moscow to escape from the police and make their getaway. Armed with guns and two hostages, it seems like nothing could go wrong. They talk of rumors of a creature living down here affected by Chernobyl. This creature in fact plays victim as well. Victim to a unpredictable yet retarded twist that gives shame to all involved in creating the storyboard for nails-on-chalk film.


What they don’t realize is that it is actually the lamest attempt at creating a villain ever. My hopes normally stand tall for foreign movies because they do most things right such as creating an Eastern atmosphere, the mood, and setting the character development up a notch. The only thing I applaud this movie for is the set design and partial cinematography. They indeed got the look right for this film but it dragged on and on.

The villain, who looks like some failure-casting role for Hellboy, is armed with a cork opener (?) and a bad ass pickaxe. He barely uses the pickaxe and plays with the corkscrew to remove eyes. Didn't I see this in See No Evil? In a scene halfway through the film, Trackman actually picks up an automatic weapon and open fires, instantly destroying any fear you might have felt. The only tension you feel during its hour and a half running time is a bit of tangent claustrophobia. These are not even the worst parts. The absolute fatality to this film was:

1) Complete lack of appreciated violence except for a couple eyeballs here and there.

2) The worst twist ending I have ever seen in my life.

These are the ingredients to make a dodgy, bland Russian slasher film. If you are looking for claustrophobic horror, rent Creep or The Midnight Meat Train.

-mAQ

1 comment:

jervaise brooke hamster said...

How dare you recommend "CREEP" its unwatchable British made shit and "THE MIDNITE MEAT TRAIN" is superb but its spoilt by the involvement of that British scum Vinnie Jones. From now on only recommend American made films that have absolutely no British involvement what-so-ever O.K., thanks.